The Alternative Yet Ultimate Baby's Christmas Gift Guide

So here I am on black Friday eve, stumbling over what to put in the Christmas list for my second born 1-year old. He's got all the plastic tat Early learning centre could vomit, already handed down to him from his brother, so what do I get him for Christmas?

An example of what an ELC binge can look like. It ain't pretty folks.

The options were to guilt buy from Amazon's 'suggestions' or just get him nothing as he probably won't notice what's going on anyway. Until, I had a present-epiphany....

Stop the press, hold the phone, pass the baby - here's  the have the ultimate Christmas gift list (of stuff that you already have). Yes that's right, look no further, for your budget buys, as you don't actually have to budget or buy anything, and you certainly don't need to trample on peoples club card fisted hands to get to these bargains this black Friday.

You, my lucky friend, have already got this shit lying around the house/thrown down the loo/stuffed under the sofa.

The Alternative Baby's Christmas Gift Guide:

**Please note, some of these things are actually more than a tiny bit dangerous for kinder  and shouldn't actually be given as gifts, but children do seem to be naturally drawn to them. Once again, do not give them as gifts, no matter how much those puppy dog baby eyes tell you too.

  1. Packet of Wipes
Nothing better than a packet of 'infinity moist towels': These in a child's eyes are the equivalent of Mary Poppins carpet bag - they just keep on coming. Unless it's mum's last pack and you've had shit-ter-geddon, then you're hunting for Han Solo wipe in the tatooine desert. They also double as teething rags that give you lightly fragranced Vitamin E breath. And they are great for whacking with a cute little chubby fist. I mean, everyone's a winner with this gift aren't they?

Wipes of innocence